How to Control Negative Thoughts
The vast majority of our thinking and functions of the mind are outside of our conscious control and occur subconsciously, in fact, our subconscious mind controls 90% – 95% of our habits, patterns, automatic body functions/physiological processes, emotions, personality, beliefs, values, cognitive biases, addictions, intuition, developmental stages, imagination, creativity and our long-term memory.
Because we don’t have control over the thoughts that randomly pop into our minds, it is important to learn how to have control over how much time, space, belief and energy we give to those thoughts. My role as a Clinical Hypnotherapist is to help people engage the power of their subconscious minds to heal from the past and regulate their thoughts, feelings and behaviours in a way that supports them to lead healthy and positive lives, without being held back by unhelpful subconscious thoughts and feelings.
We all have unhelpful or negative thoughts at times, so it is important to know what to do when they arise, so that we don’t allow them to negatively impact our mood or change the course of our day. Negative thoughts can lead to issues such as anxiety, social anxiety, depression, stress, addictions, disordered eating patterns and low self-esteem.
Negative thinking is often a self-perpetuating problem because the neural pathways in our brain are subject to change throughout our life whenever something new is learned and memorised, this is known as, neuroplasticity, or brain plasticity. The neuroplasticity of our brains means that the more often we engage in negative thought patterns, the harder it is to break the cycle, and therefore the more likely we are to do so in the future.
In addition to this, we also may find ourselves thinking negatively about our negative thoughts, by further judging or criticising ourselves, which can further compound the issue. Fortunately, the great news is, that by harnessing the amazing power of our neuroplasticity, we can take back control of our thoughts on the double take, and we can adopt a more mindful perspective and positive outlook and approach our lives with a more hopeful and open-minded sense of genuine optimism.
In saying this, approaching negative thoughts with toxic positivity (positivity without also acknowledging and validating feelings of emotional discomfort), is not the solution to conquering negative thinking either. There is a big difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity, but that topic alone, requires its own blog post or article.
The key to changing your negative thoughts, is to mindfully become aware of how you are thinking currently and how it is affecting you, and then work towards discovering strategies to change these thoughts or lessen their effect on you. Our thoughts, emotions and behaviours are all intrinsically linked, so our thoughts impact how we feel and act.
There are many ways to control negative thinking and we can discuss many different ways in our therapy sessions together, but here are some tips to get you started on controlling negative thinking:
- Allow yourself to have negative thoughts: Refrain from thinking that you shouldn’t think that way, instead, acknowledge the thought without judgement, and then let it go.
- By taking the time to practice gratitude and think of things that you are grateful for, it helps to strengthen positive neural pathways in your brain, purposefully take time to savour and appreciate even the smallest things, which can be anything from that feeling that you get with that first soothing sip of your morning cup of tea or coffee, or the fact that it’s the weekend.
- Avoid “All or Nothing” thinking in the language we use. Absolute thinking prevents us from taking each situation as it comes, therefore by frequently using words like, “never“ or “always“, blocks any open-minded thinking patterns and can convince yourself that unhelpful, limiting beliefs are factual, instead, use words such as, “sometimes” or “occasionally.”
- Identifying negative thoughts and replacing them with more real, helpful and positive ones.
- Mindful Breathing helps you to change the focus of your brain waves, so if you spend 10 minutes breathing in a sequence of 3-6-9, it engages your parasympathetic nervous system, and tells your brain that everything is okay. Use mindful breathing and mindfulness to build self-awareness.
- Shift to a positive focus. Change your patterns of negative thinking by finding an activity that feels right for you and brings you joy, something that keeps your mind busy in a positive way, such as meditation, journaling down your feelings, daily reflection, repeating positive affirmations or making a list of your strengths and the things that you are great at or even a new hobby.
- Practice “Thought Policing”, which is where you mindfully monitor your thoughts and remember that your thoughts are not facts, and quite often not accurate or real, so when negative thoughts come up, ask yourself, “Is this thought accurate? Is this thought good for me?”. If it is not, don’t allow it to enter your mind. Be the bodyguard of your brain who only allows good thoughts in and tells bad thoughts that they are not welcome here.
- Visualise the image of the thought shrinking until it disappears.
- Visualise positive situations instead. A fascinating fact is your subconscious brain does not always know what is real and what is imaginary.
- Flip the thought immediately to a positive opposite thought, switch, “| can’t do this”, to, “I can do this”.
- Practice positive internal dialogue, when negative thoughts arise, talk to yourself the way a good friend would respond, if you said those negative thoughts to them.
There are many techniques and tools that you can use that we can discuss in a session, so if you struggle with negative thought patterns and feel that it is impacting your life, please consider reaching out. While it can feel tough to share your thoughts with a therapist at first, I create a safe, supportive and warm space where you can feel safe to assess your negative thinking patterns and help you create a healthier inner dialogue, so that you can live the life that you deserve.
